It is about time greater recognition was given to the
sterling efforts of Australia’s liquor licensing regulators. While some public
health officials have become media superstars during the COVD-19 epidemic, the
liquor regulators have gone quietly about their business of protecting us from
ourselves. Lack of public recognition for
their efforts must be almost enough to drive them to drink.
The Australian Broadcasting Commission – your ABC (or is it
our ABC, or their ABC) – is normally a strong supporter of government
regulation, but when was the last time you saw the ABC praise liquor regulators
for their efforts? Just about everyone that the ABC interviews says, “Aorta do
something about that”, no matter what “that” is. The “A” in aorta is the
government, of course. Someone should tell the government Aorta get the ABC to
praise the liquor licensing regulators.
I can’t remember anything the ABC has done over the last 18
months or so to recognize the sterling efforts of liquor regulators. Liquor
licensing regulators have to make contributions that are a long way beyond the
call of duty before the ABC recognizes them.
The sterling efforts of the acting director-general of
licensing of the Northern Territory (NT) were reluctantly acknowledged by
Katrina Beavan and Steward Brash in an
item published on 30 July 2019. The headline of the article gives an
indication of the perceptiveness and courage of the acting director-general: “NT
liquor licensing laws affect sale of household cooking products, vendors warned”.
The acting director-general deserves to be highly honored
for making such a magnificent contribution to the welfare of citizens of the
NT. Most liquor regulators would be inclined to turn a blind eye to the fact
that some household cooking products contain alcohol. After all, regulators are
human, and just about as lazy as the rest of us. Regulators could be expected
to be particularly reluctant to rock the boat by upsetting food retailers and
their customers.
However, the acting director-general wrote a letter to food retailers
telling them that if they want to sell any product over 50 ml that contains
1.15 per cent ethyl alcohol or more, they require a liquor licence. Licensing
inspectors followed up by visiting a range of stores in Darwin and Alice
Springs, insisting that owners take offending items off the shelves.
Some of you might think that the acting director-general was
being excessively zealous, particularly since the legislation specifically
referred to “beverages”. I can almost
hear some of you saying that soy sauce is not a beverage. You wouldn’t drink it!
Well, you obviously haven’t heard of a “bloody geisha”? As cocktails
go, a bloody geisha isn’t too bad in my view. It is more flavorsome than straight
sake. I imagine that if you use enough soy sauce, you could reduce the amount
of sake, and still get a kick out of it. Some people may even omit the tomato
juice.
In my view, a strong case can be made that the acting
director-general didn’t go far enough. Why not also specify that methylated spirits
and turps must also be sold through liquor stores? You might point out to me that
regulations to protect government revenue from sale of alcoholic beverages require
metho to be adulterated to contain enough poisonous stuff (methanol) to make
people go blind and to kill them. You probably think that the fact that metho kills
people is a strong enough deterrent to stop nearly everyone from drinking it. However,
that is odd argument. It implies that human nature is such that if you leave people
to make choices for themselves, they will nearly always choose to stay alive.
You probably also want to tell me that when you say someone
is “on the turps” that is just a figure of speech. You claim to know that
mineral turpentine contains no alcohol. If I object, you will tell me that is a
scientific fact.
Struth! You probably still think there is a real world out
there and that we all tend to have common perceptions of reality. One day you
will understand that we live in a post-truth world. Everyone has their own truth.
Perceptions are everything. If you have any interest at all in protecting
people from themselves, you will agree with me that to discourage people from “going
on the turps”, mineral turpentine should only be sold in licensed liquor stores.
How does this story end? From what I can gather, the NT Licensing
authorities subsequently
backtracked on efforts to ensure soy sauce could only be sold in licensed
liquor outlets. Nevertheless, the acting director-general deserves a medal for assiduous
efforts in trying to protect NT people from themselves!